Hereditary

This was already in my head, but my daughter just brought it out.

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I was sooooo conceited when I was her age. My sister or any of my Foster sisters will tell you, compliment my eyes and meet a diva. But bump that, I DID know they would tell me how pretty my eyes were. They always did. Thank GAWD I didn’t get dad’s mint greens…..Jesus be some vanity.

Anyway….that was then. As I grew up, became awkward and met that hoe “puberty “, my vanity faded. There were a few other events that took away from my confidence,  but again, another post…maybe one day.

Queen of Digression, this one. The older I got, the less I felt beautiful, cute, worthy.  Being smart only took me so far. Who was really checking for the bookworm in hand-me-downs with the goofy grin, right?

Right.

I’d say by age 10, I didn’t love myself. Not just because of my looks, I just didn’t. Could be genetics.  Nature. Nurture. Didn’t MTV come out right after I was born? The blame can be endless. And unfortunately,  it carried itself into my adult life and to this very day I struggle with self esteem.

Pick your jaw up, shocking. I know.

But I see in my daughter that same vanity with a twinge of “say what you want, I love ME.” I pray that in my own deficiency I can foster that into a young woman who is confident in who she is and what she can do.

Be who and what you want. Don’t Let anyone make you feel as if you aren’t good enough. If you know you are smart, talented, beautiful Inside and OUT,  in the ever pertinent words of Pastor Mason Betha….

“Can’t nobody take my pride….can’t nobody hold me down…Oh No!”

sans the double negatives.

I pray that the demons and acne/badteeth/bad people. Media  images don’t influence my kids like they did me and they flourish.

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